Scholars have debated whether Cross-Contamination Logistics is an art or a science. Our faculty's position is that it is neither, which is why we award a degree in it. This undergraduate programme formally recognises storing raw chicken on top of the salad, elevating it from domestic complaint to academic credential.

The curriculum is entirely retrospective: by the time a certificate is ordered, the candidate has completed all requirements through years of unsupervised fieldwork. Our admissions board has never rejected an applicant, chiefly because it has never convened.

Each certificate is personalized with the recipient's name, printed with the Institute's seal and the Rector's signature, and issued with a unique certificate number and a working QR verification code. Scan it, and our records will confirm — in suitably formal language — that the incompetence is real.