Scholars have debated whether Smoke Alarm Acoustics is an art or a science. Our faculty's position is that it is neither, which is why we award a degree in it. This undergraduate programme formally recognises using the detector as a kitchen timer, elevating it from domestic complaint to academic credential.

Assessment follows our patented honour system, in which we assume the worst and are rarely disappointed. No attendance is required; indeed, non-attendance is looked upon favourably and may qualify the candidate for honours.

Each certificate is personalized with the recipient's name, printed with the Institute's seal and the Rector's signature, and issued with a unique certificate number and a working QR verification code. Scan it, and our records will confirm — in suitably formal language — that the incompetence is real.