The Institute's celebrated undergraduate programme in Bed Sheet Corner Geometry exists because the world demanded it — loudly, repeatedly, and usually from the next room. Formally described as why the fitted sheet never fits, this discipline has been practiced informally in households and open-plan offices for generations. We merely had the courage to accredit it.

The curriculum is entirely retrospective: by the time a certificate is ordered, the candidate has completed all requirements through years of unsupervised fieldwork. Our admissions board has never rejected an applicant, chiefly because it has never convened.

The certificate arrives instantly as a personalized PDF bearing the recipient's name, our unreasonably official seal, and a QR code that resolves to a genuine verification page. It is, we are told, the most rigorous documentation ever attached to this little effort.