Scholars have debated whether Ticket Closure Velocity is an art or a science. Our faculty's position is that it is neither, which is why we award a degree in it. This undergraduate programme formally recognises closing support tickets without actually resolving the issue, elevating it from domestic complaint to academic credential.

Assessment follows our patented honour system, in which we assume the worst and are rarely disappointed. No attendance is required; indeed, non-attendance is looked upon favourably and may qualify the candidate for honours.

Every diploma ships instantly as a print-ready PDF: recipient's name, official seal, Rector's signature, unique certificate number, and a live QR verification page that deadpans its authenticity to anyone who checks. HR departments love it. Well — they verify it, anyway.