The Institute's celebrated doctoral programme in The Physics Of Dropped Objects exists because the world demanded it — loudly, repeatedly, and usually from the next room. Formally described as why toast always lands butter-side down, this discipline has been practiced informally in households and open-plan offices for generations. We merely had the courage to accredit it.

Assessment follows our patented honour system, in which we assume the worst and are rarely disappointed. No attendance is required; indeed, non-attendance is looked upon favourably and may qualify the candidate for honours.

Each certificate is personalized with the recipient's name, printed with the Institute's seal and the Rector's signature, and issued with a unique certificate number and a working QR verification code. Scan it, and our records will confirm — in suitably formal language — that the incompetence is real.