Ph.D. in Weaponized Forgetfulness

A study in selective memory retention

The Institute's celebrated doctoral programme in Weaponized Forgetfulness exists because the world demanded it — loudly, repeatedly, and usually from the next room. Formally described as a study in selective memory retention, this discipline has been practiced informally in households and open-plan offices for generations. We merely had the courage to accredit it.

Degree requirements have already been met by the recipient — that is rather the point. The certificate simply converts an established pattern of behaviour into a framed, QR-verifiable qualification suitable for office walls, kitchen fridges, and passive-aggressive gift exchanges.

Each certificate is personalized with the recipient's name, printed with the Institute's seal and the Rector's signature, and issued with a unique certificate number and a working QR verification code. Scan it, and our records will confirm — in suitably formal language — that the incompetence is real.

The obligatory fine print: this is a novelty certificate for entertainment purposes only. It is not a real academic credential — which the recipient will likely consider on-brand.
Preview of the Ph.D. in Weaponized Forgetfulness certificate

Ph.D. in Weaponized Forgetfulness

Doctor of Philosophy in Strategic Incompetence

$13.99

  • Personalized with any recipient's name
  • Instant PDF download after payment
  • Unique certificate number + seal + signature
  • Working QR verification page
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